Attn: Stop Over-Apologizing and Take Your Power Back

“Apologizing when we (women) have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing presents as a weakness at work and in personal relationships.” - Tara Swart, neuroscientist and author of the book, The Source: Open Your Mind, Change Your Life.

Most women find themselves with this apology habit, constantly saying “I’m sorry” when it is not necessary. If you actually take the time to keep track of how many times a day you apologize, you will be very surprised. Yesterday while I was at the grocery store, I said “I’m sorry” eight times in less than thirty minutes. Women need to stop over-apologizing. According to a Forbes article by Caroline Castrillon, there are three simple steps to kick the unconscious female apology habit.

The first step is to practice self-awareness. Practicing self-awareness is easy as just recognizing when you apologize and what you are actually apologizing for. It is helpful to keep an “apology log” to keep track. There is also a Google plug-in for emails called Just Not Sorry that warns you when you are using words that undermine your message.

The second step is to change your vocabulary. Trade “I’m sorry for being late” for “thank you for waiting for me.” You are still acknowledging your actions, but you do not always need to apologize for your actions.

The third step is to be confident and intentional. Apologizing for every little thing minimizes your personal strength and the strength of your work. This does not mean you should stop saying “I’m sorry” completely, but only use it when it is absolutely necessary. Kicking the habit of over-apologizing will make you sound more confident and credible.

Ladies, we are taking our power back and we are not sorry for it.